Coping with the loss of my Mum: A Journey of Healing
We recently caught up with Hannah, one of our past employees at Cwm Taf Morgannwg Mind. Hannah worked on the Active Monitoring Team which is now Supported Self Help.
Supported Self Help is a guided self-help programme that can help you with common mental health problems including stress, anxiety, depression and menopause.
At Cwm Taf Morgannwg Mind, most of our employees have lived experience of mental health and are always open to sharing their stories. The reason behind this is so we can relate with our clients on their feelings and give first hand advice on the best form of treatments that worked for them on top of their support plan.
One of the ways Hannah managed to cope was through the power of writing. Hannah sent us a blog post to share her experience and how she coped through different methods, which you can read below.
Losing a loved one is an experience which is difficult to put into words. In January 2022, my mother lost her battle with cancer and passed away in her sleep. Losing my mother was a life-altering experience. The loss of anyone is a unique experience that encompasses a range of emotions. In this blog post, I want to share my journey of coping with the loss of my mum, the emotions that I encountered and the healing process which helped me with the hope that this may help someone else.
The initial shock:
The moment I received the news of my mum’s passing, it was like my brain froze. I was in disbelief. The physical pain of the blow to my chest was so intense. The next couple of days, I was walking around in a daze. People would come up to me in the street to offer their condolences and it was like, I was there but I wasn’t really there. It was rather foggy.
My brain couldn’t accept that she was no longer with us anymore.
2) Processing and accepting my emotions:
Before losing my mum, I wouldn’t have described myself as an angry person. However, I was extremely angry with the world around me and the circumstances surrounding her death. I had never experienced so much anger before this, I almost felt unrecognisable to myself. I acknowledged my feelings rather than suppressing it and accepted it was a part of my grieving journey. Luckily, I had a safe space to express and process these emotions. Talking to my trusted loved ones helped me work through my anger and helped me towards healing. I had to allow myself the time and space to experience the range of emotions that came with grieving. I stopped comparing myself to how I feel I ‘should be’ grieving and did it in my own way. There is no right or wrong way to mourn the loss of a parent. During this time, I found writing in my journal to be a cathartic experience where I could be authentic and raw with myself.
3) Support from Loved ones:
Truthfully, some days it was difficult being around family and friends. Sometimes I would listen to my friends talk and get annoyed that they could be upset about such trivial things when I lost such an important person in my life. However, having someone who listens to you without judgement was incredibly comforting. I learned it was okay to lean on other people and put boundaries for myself too.
4) My dog:
Milo was a gift that my mum bought me which made him extra special. He brought me great comfort and joy. His unconditional love, loyalty and his intuitive nature made him an invaluable companion in my healing journey. Milo had a unique way of bringing light to my life, even in the darkest of moments. His playful nature and need for routine provided a sense of structure and a sense of purpose. He provided such a small sense of normality among the grief.
5) Engaging in self-care:
Grief can be physically and emotionally draining! Taking care of myself became a priority. For me, listening to music, bubble baths and walking in nature became an essential part of my routine. Finding activities that made me feel happy was an important aid in the healing process. Spreading kindness was a way to honour my mother’s legacy which helped me channel my grief into something positive.
To conclude, Grief is a powerful and transformative experience. Everybody’s grief journey is different and deals with a range of complex emotions. While grief may feel relentless at times, it’s also a natural and necessary part of the healing process. It is crucial to allow ourselves to feel and express our emotions. Seek support from loved ones and engage in self-care.
If you’ve been affected by anything in this story then please check out our Supported Self Help page where you can find all the information and also how to self refer.
We’d like to offer a heart felt thank you to Hannah for sharing her story with us.
If you’d like access to a Cwm Taf Morgannwg Mind Thoughts and Feelings Diary then please contact us HERE or visit our office in Merthyr to pick up a hard copy.